June 22

Decisions
This is going to be a bit of a different post than usual. It's not going to be a positive one, but it is helping to clear my head of some anger, so I'm finding positivity in that.

You see, this whole Ryan Dunn thing has really affected me. I remember waking up that morning and doing my usual check on TMZ (don't judge me), and I saw the post that he had died. As soon as I read who he was, the accident became less of a surprise. And then I scrolled down more and saw the article with the picture of the wreckage. And I automatically assumed (I realize now that I probably shouldn't have been so quick to judge, even though my judgments were spot on) that this was a selfish accident, probably caused by alcohol or speeding.

I immediately went back to Facebook and people were already beginning to post memorials to him. It angered me. I remember reading one that was a link to an article that read, "Ryan Dunn was killed in a car accident last night," and I started to type a comment on that person's post about how that headline made it sound like it wasn't his fault. I decided against posting the comment, as I still didn't know the details of the accident.

Throughout the day, I was still angered by it. I didn't know why. I kept checking back with TMZ for updates. When the post about the actual speed at which the police believe he was driving came up, I was livid. To me, 90mph is fast. This dude was going roughly 130mph. Come on. That's disgusting. He had no care for his life, so why should we be making such a big deal about this story??

This is the thing... I don't wish death on anyone. I don't think anyone DESERVES to die. However, when you live life so recklessly and without regard to others around you, I find you to be a selfish human being. And if you want to play hard in life, you have to be able to face the consequences of your careless actions. I teach my students that every year. Everything you do is a decision. You decide, knowing the rewards and consequences, and you must accept responsibility for your decisions. Plain and simple.

Ryan Dunn decided to get in his Porsche that evening, being more than twice the legal limit of intoxication, and drive over 130 mph. Sure, he killed someone else. But that guy wasn't an innocent passenger. He also decided, after spending the evening drinking with Ryan Dunn, to get into his car and let Dunn drive him where ever they were going.

I can say this because I lived through a similar tragedy.

In the summer of 1995, my brother was bowling with his underage best friend and another gentleman who was of drinking age. At the end of the night, my brother's best friend decided to get into the other gentleman's car instead of getting into my brother's car. In fact, my brother wasn't even going to drive that night. They were all going to ride together.

My brother went on his way. Before he left the parking lot, he watched the two of them speed off in the guy's T-top Camaro.

Not long after, the Camaro ran a red light at high speeds. It ran into an unsuspecting truck, going underneath the truck with the T-top open, and ultimately killed my brother's best friend.

I never in my life want to watch anyone go through what my brother went through when his best friend died. He blamed himself. He was angry. He was depressed. There were many nights when my mom would go into my brother's room, close the door, and all I could hear were voices and cries late into the night. It was horrible. And then there was the funeral. And then the court case. It was painful and my brother was in the center of all of it because he was the last person with them.

But the thing I know for sure when I look back is that there were decisions made that night that had consequences. The drinking. The choice for my brother to drive his own car. The choice for his best friend to get in the Camaro when he knew the driver was drinking. The reckless driving.

I don't think Jon deserved to die; I really liked the guy. But in the end, he made the decision to get in that car, knowing the driver had been drinking excessively. And what happened in the fallout of his death was a horrible experience. The same thing is what I assume is happening to Ryan Dunn's friends and family now. It could have been so easily avoided. All of it.

But sadly, it wasn't.